This is Part 2 of my 20 lessons for my 20-year old self – you can find the first ten lessons here: 20 Lessons for My 20-Year-Old Self (Part 1) – if you have read that article already and are back for more of my insights, thank you!
Dear Past Oisín,
I’m back now for Part 2 of the 20 Lessons for you. 2025 is still completely crazy but sure, you have a few years until you get here… If you do end up following my advice about investing, could you put some money on a Zoom Video Communications and Nvidia – you do not need to know exactly what they do… but it would be great! Also, put a bet on Leicester City football club winning the Premier League in the 2015/16 season – I know… You don’t even need to put a lot on them but say even a €20 bet would be great!
Anyway, bain sult as a few of the lessons here as well:
Best regards,
Oisín 2025
11. Some People Are Only There for a Short Time
You are starting to figure out that, just like in primary school and now after secondary school, some people are only in your life for a short time. There are people in your life who you think will be there forever, but it turns out not to be like that. You will be surprised at some of those who are there for the long haul.
Regarding the people who will not be there for the long term, it is not that important what they think about you…in reality, they don’t really think about you at all… It is quite a freeing thought. Try to recognise the people who will only be in your life because you share a class together, or because of life circumstances… if you do not share hobbies, interests or whatever, they won’t really be around for long. Especially if you make no effort to keep in touch with them.
11b. So, Appreciate Those Who Will Be There for the Long Haul
In contrast, there are people in your life who will be there for the long haul… whose friendship has been there for a long time and will continue to be. Drop them a message more often than you should, take interest in their lives, call them up and chat with them. Invest in people who give you energy and who you are happy to have in your life.
Sometimes, people will frustrate you, but people are people in all our inherent complexities and contradictions. If you enjoy having certain people in your life and you like hearing what they are up to – don’t wait for them to get in touch with you… drop them a message and see how they are doing. If they do not respond or are reluctant to get in touch – then you will know that they might belong to the group above… and that is okay.
Your friends are the people who improve your life. It will be more difficult to keep in touch with them as partners and jobs play a bigger role in life… we all eventually become proper adults… However, you will always feel better for making that phone call and for writing to them… even when you are based in different countries.
12. Do Less of the Things You Do Not Enjoy
You do not like nightclubs and bars with loud music – bars where the music is so loud you cannot have a conversation with people. You will go to too many of these types of bars in your college life before eventually finding the Franciscan Well Pub… You will spend many, many happy hours of your life in the Fran Well… Remember that tip at the start about drinking less… if you are to go drinking, go to the Franciscan Well with good company… that is your place.
Anyway, you will end up at nights out for the college course, in bars that you do not want to be in, to have non-conversations with people who will only be with you for a short part of life’s journey. You will not enjoy most of these evenings… you will waste a lot of money, you will have many hangovers – but it is fine, hangovers do not start getting bad for you until you turn 24 – and you will have wasted a lot of time… If you want to meet people, do so in environments that you prefer… in environments where you can hear the person next to you. If you need alcohol to get through the situation, it is probably the wrong situation to be in.
So, try to avoid the FOMO, try to not listen to that voice in your head that says, “maybe this time the blaring music will be okay”, – if it is something you know is not for you, do something else.
13. Do More of the Things You Like to Do
In contrast, your happiest memories of college life will come from activities you enjoyed doing. The table quiz nights with friends – and even with people you didn’t really know at the time and don’t know now – were some of the better nights, the debates and guest speakers you attended were much better than the club nights that you didn’t enjoy… A night at the cinema with a good friend builds roots in the personal relationship…
However, it is not just social events… you enjoy doing Sudoku puzzles – you remember once in school we were given a Sudoku puzzle and you were the first to solve it. You beat David Nicoll by about one minute to get the credit… do more of them! Write more. Read the books you enjoyed as a child – The Edge Chronicles are still great fun to read even as an adult. Play chess. Find other people who enjoy the activities that you enjoy…
You will be far more comfortable meeting people doing those activities than you will be in settings that you do not enjoy. As much as I said avoid nightclubs and bars, you will meet your eventual partner at a karaoke bar, but you will take the step of saying to her to go outside to chat with her rather than try and do a shouting conversation over loud music… So, maybe do not completely write off the things you do not enjoy – at least not yet.
Find out what is your preferred setting and grow from there… You can, of course, extend yourself and find new activities you enjoy – you do not need to stay static – but maybe put yourself into positions of comfort first and move out from there… You enjoy table quizzes, maybe go to one of those to meet people and have the craic. You actually do like Gaeilge – maybe go to one of those college society meetings and see what that is all about.
14. Do Not Get Overly Invested in “How I Met Your Mother” and “Game of Thrones”
Right now, in 2012, you are working your way through “How I Met Your Mother” and “Game of Thrones” – GOT, in particular, seems like it is on course for utter greatness. Right now, season 2 has finished and the Battle of the Blackwater was one of the most epic events you have seen on a TV series… the wildfire explosion – wow! I hate to spoil it for you, but it will run out of steam. You know that “Dance of Dragons” book you bought last summer?… Yeah, that was the last published book in the series up to this moment… it is now 2025!
I know, the series is still not finished… it has become an internet meme at this stage… George Martin does write a history of the Targaryens called “Fire and Blood” that you take your time to read, but it is a really great read… pity, he can’t finish “A Song of Ice and Fire” but there are other series out there.
You will spend a lot of time, in your head, in the world of Westeros over the coming years. You will watch hours and hours of theory videos and prediction videos… However, the finished product will be far worse and a lot sloppier than anything these internet video creators have put out there. It is fun to theorise and guess what will happen, but it will be a disappointment… Prepare yourself for that.
As for “How I Met Your Mother”, the feeling that you are starting to get – that feeling that season 5 was a bit meh and the premise is running out of material… that feeling… yeah, trust it. It will continue until Season 9 – and the last couple of seasons are pretty rubbish really… they have some decent to good moments but overall, not much fun.
You will finish the series around 2018/19 time, and after completing it, you will not revisit it. The end is so bad – just like Game of Thrones – that you will not go back and watch older episodes… even the episodes you liked at the time.
You really liked these series because of trying to predict what will happen – who will the mother be, what will happen with the White Walkers etc. – that is the beauty of these types of series when they are happening… An online community was built up around predictions but unfortunately, when the show ends in an unsatisfactory manner… it ruins it. When they have a bad ending or leave you unsatisfied, in the years afterwards you will not rewatch them… You will not reinvest your time into them.
15. Play Your Guitar More
This one is going to annoy you a bit as you are currently playing your guitar a lot… but you are going to get a stage where you have forgotten more songs than you can play. Your repertoire of songs has decreased a lot from where you are now… you will even forget how to play “Everlong” by the Foo Fighters…
At one stage, I think at this stage – at 20 – you can pick up a guitar and comfortably play about 40 songs if not more without thinking about it… Your skill level is fine, over the next 13 years you will not really move beyond the level you are at now, finger picking is not something you ever develop… but picking up the guitar every day for a few minutes will keep it fresh…
You will create wonderful memories with your guitar. There will be that magical four weeks down in the Gaeltacht in 2017 and 2018… but especially 2017 in An Daingean… that was incredible. We were playing music, singing and having the craic in bars around Dingle – on the beach – for the entire time. Playing guitar on a beach in Dingle until 4 in the morning – that was one of the highlights of your life. You will play some guitar in Sorrento, Italy at your cousin’s wedding as well… and you will have many family gathering guitar sessions – but try and keep it fresh for as long as you can. It is frustrating to say, “Yeah, I used to know that song.”
16. Learn Hard Skills
So, at the moment you are treating university quite a lot like school and you are focusing on getting good results. Overall, you will do pretty well, and you will be remarkably consistent with your results – always getting in the 60s in your law results. You are not top of the class, far from it, but you are also comfortable… you will land in a very comfortable 2.1. degree territory which is where you thought you would be.
However, the working world is different to the university and school world. No employer will ever ask about my results in university, and instead they will want to know what I can do. Eventually, you will use your legal brain in your job, but your main skill will be research, SEO, WordPress and related computer skills. Now, at 33 you are in building your own blog and personal website, you are in the process of launching a podcast, and you are still looking around to learn even more skills. Maybe next year will be the year you get a hang of doing more than very basic graphic design work and maybe even try out more sound and video editing.
Now though, before kids and before family life, would be the perfect time to get away from watching “Game of Thrones” and drinking, and learn some other useful and practical skills.
17. Get Involved with Social Groups and Clubs
You are currently in UCC, and you’re a bit annoyed that you cannot really get properly involved with the clubs and societies there. You live at home, and although you are pretty happy not to have to deal with rent payments and poor standard accommodation, the inability to really get involved with the clubs and societies is disappointing. The events are generally on late enough in the evening, and you do not want to spend all your time on campus… you know you want to do more but maybe you need to look elsewhere.
You will get more involved in groups, and for two years you will be the chairperson of a GAA club! Chairperson of a GAA club before the age of 30. Not many can say that. You will be Chairperson of the Cologne Celtics GAA Club from 2021 until the end of 2022, and they will be great years. An incredible privilege and experience. It is a lot more difficult now to stay involved on any meaningful level due to dada duties but in the future you will be back there again.
Over the course of your life, you have seen that the people who give energy, and get involved with activities and clubs, are the people you want to be around. They are the people you will want to emulate. In the coming years, you will meet people like John Murphy – the chairperson of European GAA – Graham Clifford – the founder and former-CEO of the Sanctuary Runners, and many more active people. Be more like them. Clubs and groups are always looking for people to help them grow. Do not let doubts hold you back… dive right in and get involved when you can!
18. Appreciate Where You Are and What Stage You Are At
Right now, you are single, and that side of life is fairly non-eventful… There is not a whole lot happening there. You should note that it will not always be like that, and things will eventually turn around. The single lifestyle is not a great fit on you, and you don’t really like it… You end up going to events and nights out that you do not really want to go to, in the hope that things will change eventually… And they will. They will change completely.
It is now a few years down the road and guess what, you have been in a relationship for almost 10 years, and you have two children! Life has changed utterly. At times it is difficult… as you no longer have the freedom you had back when you were 20… but you are also grateful, and you are enjoying what you have as well…
It is incredible to watch two young girls grow and explore the world. You cannot wait to share the films you watched as a child with them… to read Harry Potter, the Hobbit, the Edge Chronicles and so much more with them… to watch The Lord of the Rings with them for the first time… to watch The Lion King with them… to see what their hobbies and interests will be… to help them with their homework and to be there for them. You cannot wait to see who they will be but you will enjoy this time you have with them now.
However, that is for me (future you) to deal with… It all works out in the end. So, until then, please enjoy the moment in which you find yourself and explore what you can do with it. Remember what Gandalf said: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” Life happens while you are busy planning so do not let it run away from you!
19. The World is Going to get Crazier and There Is Little You Can Do About It
Remember I mentioned President Donald Trump earlier… yeah… that man is going to essentially define the decade and by the time you get to 2025, you are not going to be able to move without “Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump” ringing in the background. Social media and always available news are going to dominate the attention sphere, and it will be difficult to get out of it.
Things are going to happen over the next number of years that will sound a bit crazy to you now, for example, the UK will leave the European Union, a US President will get away with calling Mexicans “rapists”, Nigel Farage – that guy – will appear a lot more frequently on your news feed for his ridiculous statements, war will break out in Europe, war crimes and genocide will go unpunished and will even be cheered on… The world is going into a strange phase… The far-right will rise again… Yeah, politics in 2012 might seem a bit mad but it is about to descend to darker levels…
What can you do about it as an individual? Honestly, not a lot unfortunately. Does that mean you should do nothing? Absolutely not. Go to protests, send money to worthy causes, be kind to people in difficult situations and do what is right because it is the right thing to do. Read and learn about issues… However, try to balance that with also focusing on what is important for you as an individual… In the new age of instant media and of social media, and where everyone everywhere can share their opinions, it is easy to get sucked into the mess.
On that note, do not waste time with social media debates and discussions with random people… there is no real benefit to it most of the time.
20. Start Thinking About the Future and Where You Are Going
It is a paralysing thought I know, and it is not one you are really thinking about. Again, you are approaching university as a chance to get your degree and let’s take it one step at a time… however, soon you will need to think about where you want to go. You avoid those thoughts for as long as you possibly can, and in the end, it will bite you…
You will end up doing a master’s degree that wasn’t the right fit for you. You met one of your best mates there and you have some fantastic memories of the trips to the Gaeltacht and of other aspects, but throughout the time doing it, you knew this wasn’t what you to do… and you only ended up doing it because you hadn’t planned in advance and let analysis paralysis take over.
In the end, you are quite lucky as you found a job that is more fitting to you. A job that involves writing, the law and translating from German to English… somehow you stumbled upon almost the exact job that your bachelor’s degree was made for… However, if you had done the original master’s, you were looking at – Management and Marketing at UCC, maybe you would not have had some pretty unhappy years in your mid-20s and you would be more on track to where you really want to go.
However, as I said, you met some fantastic people and had some good times, so it wasn’t completely wasted. It made you more interested in Gaeilge again which was great, and you received experience in some completely other aspects of life… so there were some good aspects as well.
Conclusion
Well, that is it Past Oisín, twenty lessons about life that I can share with you 13 years later. It is something to think that that was so long ago… believe it or not, Ashton, school etc. they all still feature pretty regularly in your dreams… and soon, you will reach a work anniversary that will mean you have been working in your job almost as long as you were in Ashton. That is mad to me for some reason.
Anyway, in general, you are doing fine. Life is moving in a good direction, and eventually, you will end up here… These steps that I mentioned above are some aspects of what you are implementing in the here and now in 2025, and you will discover them along the way during this journey of life.
Maybe the Oisín of 2038 will write back to the Oisín of 2025 with some insights and pieces of wisdom… However, until then, thanks for reading and enjoy everything about your Erasmus Year. It is going to change your entire life!
Oisín 2025
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